The Black Barbie Chronicles: I Drive by Your House

It was getting to that point in my life. I still was not over Hannu and this is how I expressed myself. Enjoy my psycho little rant!

F. M. Laster

“Never attempt to win by force what can be won by deception.”
― Niccolò Machiavelli

Sunday September 6th

I still drive by your house

Yep, I have graduated from Crazy Ex- Girlfriend Bitch to Psychotic Bitch! Driving by his house is the tamest thing that I have done over the past few weeks.  Not a couple of times a week; no EVEY. DAMN. DAY!!! Again this is tame compared to what I did this week. Check out some more stalker-like shit I’ve done in the past week alone!

•    I would go up to his window late at night and tap on it for shits and giggles.

•  I would leave little things in his driveway like stuffed animals and toys from the Dollar Store.

•    I bought a box of roofing nails and sprinkled them around the driveway and under the tires of both his car and truck.

•    I followed him on a date. This was by accident during one of my drive-bys. I did not plan on following him on a date, but there I was. He was leaving with some bitch, so I followed them. They went to the movies, and I sat a few rows toward the back.  Then I followed the lovely couple into a restaurant. I too went in and placed my order to go.  While waiting for my food, I went to the restroom and walked past their table.  I made a big deal of introducing myself to the lady and telling him it’s a small world.  Yep, it was creepy as hell.

•    I went into his house when he was work (still had the keys and he never changed the locks…Hello break-up rules. Change the locks!) and put hot sauce in his shampoo, laxatives in his food; you know real mature shit like that.

•    I would sneak into his house late at night and go into his bedroom and stand over him watching him as he slept. I would then go into his closet and take an article of clothing and leave. He never knew I was there.

Okay, I guess that last one was a little fucked up, and I think my rational side, told me to leave Hannu alone. I needed to get away from here. Like really get the fuck out of dodge. Okay, I need to get the hell out of dodge quick before I get arrested for staking, burglary, or something. The question was where could I go and what can I do? Seriously, where can I go?

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