Black Barbie Chronicles: Random Weekend Musings

Yep, I’m back. It’s been a minute with COVID and the rest of the shit. Here I am with yet another classic tale from Korea. Here’s a clip from a very busy and of course drunken weekend. Enjoy!

F. M. Laster

“The best revenge is massive success.” – Frank Sinatra

Barbie’s Random Weekend Musings

      One of the many beautiful things about coming to South Korea was that I got to leave everybody else’s problems at home. Now, don’t get me wrong. It’s not that I don’t love to hear everybody else’s gossip. Au contraire, the only thing that I love talking about more than myself is other people! As you all know, the last year of my life was saturated with an extreme dose of Fuck This,  and after a while, everything starts to wear on you a bit. My thought coming over here was that I wouldn’t have to deal with anybody else’s shit for a whole year. Fantastic! So I thought. I somehow failed to realize that to achieve this, I would have to not only avoided making any friends here, but I’d also have to cut off contact with my friends at home. Essentially, I’d have to live in a box. Even I couldn’t pull that off for more than a few days at a time. Who would I have to talk about myself with?

     I got some news from back home on Friday afternoon, which resulted in a ridiculous binge of randomness this weekend. Thankfully, nobody died, which is excellent.  Now, all I needed to do was to just accept that there is only enough time for people to get their shit together, including myself. That’s the trade-off of being a Fucking Rock Star, apparently. It’s a trade-off that I’m willing to take, but that doesn’t make it any less of a Bag of Suck.

     The binge began in Busan, wound its way over to Daegu, then returned to Busan with little left in its legs. All in all, I probably spent 8 hours in my apartment for the entire weekend. There were many bars, there was some BBQ mixed in with some clubs, ping-pong, and a PC Bang somewhere. My greedy ass also managed somehow to consume not 1 but 3 McDonald’s breakfasts in one morning.      I ended the weekend by returning to Busan late afternoon on Sunday. I decided to skip having a shower and head into downtown to find my poker-playing friends.  Well, that shit was canceled in favor of more drinks and singing rooms. A good time was had by all if I do say so myself. All in all, it was a good weekend.

Throwback Thursday: Final Jordan Pics

This is the last of this set of Jordan pics. I really do miss that place! Maybe next year, maybe.

 

F. M. Laster

“The best revenge is massive success.” – Frank Sinatra

Wayback Music Wednesday: The Last of Duran

Here’s the last of Duran and one of my favorite videos,

F. M. Laster

“The best revenge is massive success.” – Frank Sinatra

Black Barbie Chronicles:Black Barbie in No Country for Inspiration

Many a day I usually walk around with this look on my face; the blanked spaced-out one.  Well, today was one of those days. I just couldn’t get it together.  Check out my story. Enjoy!

 

F. M. Laster

“The best revenge is massive success.” – Frank Sinatra

 

Black Barbie in No Country for Inspiration

      When I first arrived in Korea Land, I thought I would never have enough hours in the day to document my adventures. I mean every day there is something new and exciting to view, learn, and experience. I thought I would overload my senses! Well, it’s been what, close to a month and the newness have worn off.

Now I find it difficult to write. It’s like something weird has happened to me. Have I mellowed out? Leveled out? Am I now a good person? Have I reached enlightenment? Am I no longer a fucking bitchy entitled asshole? Is my privilege showing?

Hell no! I’m still the same bitch as before. What has happened is that I now picked up this really annoying habit of repeating myself in Korea Land. Now I usually try and do my Rain Man performance of repeating short words when in public. Yes, the repetition is as ridiculous as it sounds.

For some reason, I am no longer able to say simplistic English words like, “Yes”, “No”, “Thank you”, or “Please”. Now, I’m sounding like a damn Japanese anime character saying such gems like, “ same, same” , “small, small”, “service, service”, “yes, yes” or “no, no”. You see, this might be necessary if I were using more advanced words and speaking to individuals who aren’t fluent in English when doing this, like my kiddies and my fellow teachers. I am sorry to say that I actually seem to do it more when I’m speaking to other foreigners in Busan. Conclusion? I think I am a bit on the slow side. Who the fuck knows?

 

Throwback Thursday: Jordan Pics

Now this is s pretty girl next to a beautiful tree.  For the life of me, I have no clue what happened to that bag of mine. I really liked it too!

 

F. M. Laster

“The best revenge is massive success.” – Frank Sinatra

Wayback Music Wednesday: More Duran

This video has always been one of my favs!  Enjoy

F. M. Laster

“The best revenge is massive success.” – Frank Sinatra

Black Barbie Chronicles: Black Barbie Teaches Values

Yeah, I know? What the hell do I know about values?  I do believe I lost those on my travels.  Anyway, check out this little twisted story about the day I taught my Korean Kiddies some valuable life lessons. Enjoy and rate!

 

F. M. Laster

“The best revenge is massive success.” – Frank Sinatra

 

Black Barbie Teaches Values

      During class today, I took the liberty of copying down the text from one of the dialogues that my students are required to study at the opening of a new lesson. These dialogues suck. They are boring, horrible and seriously, no one speaks like that. I also dread having to hear the mindless listen and repeat four times a day for a week. However, I was stunned to discover that while the curriculum may be rife with errors (I correct the textbooks on an almost daily basis), every now and then the book redeems itself by teaching this generation of Koreans some very important life lessons. Below is an excerpt of the dialogue in the textbook:

Jane: Oh boo hoo. I’m not as smart as you! You are so smart and I am not. I am sad.

Dick: Hey, your grades are much better than Mary’s. Mary is not as smart as you. You are not the worst student in our class! Mary is the worst student in class.

Jane: That is all right for you. You are the brightest student in class. I am sad.

Dick: Hey! What is up? That is not true. I am smart. I study hard for good grades. You are the most popular student in the class. You always help others. Everybody likes you. That is more important.

Jane: Really? You really think so?

Dick: Yes. You are my best friend.

Noting the important lessons that my students could take away from this short passage, I ensured that each student had a chance to read each part. I had my entire class of 30 plus kids read this dialogue. It simply would not have been right had my students failed to miss any of the following points:

1. When in doubt about your own abilities, comparing yourself to somebody slightly less fortunate than yourself is a totally appropriate way to restore your pride and to make yourself feel good like a big man. Just ask President Trump.
2. People who don’t have the exact same problems as you will never be able to properly understand the difficulties that you and you alone have to face and endure on a daily basis. Again, this applies to President Trump.
3. Hey, it is okay if you are a fucking moron, just as long as you somehow still manage to get everybody to like you. Popularity is the name of the game and the most important thing in life and don’t you forget it! Ah, there are several politicians this could apply to, so take your pick. I will stick with my personal favorite, President Trump.
4. The fact that everybody likes you somehow refutes the assertion that you are a fucking moron. Again, see numbers 1-3 and President Trump.

While you may think that I’m kidding, I take my role as Life Advisor for Korean youth very seriously.

Erotic Friday: The Last of Robert Herrick

Here is the last poem from the poet Robert Herrick I’ll showcase. Next time, we’ll have someone new.  Have a great afternoon.

F. M. Laster

“The best revenge is massive success.” – Frank Sinatra

 

To Silvia to Wed

By Robert Herrick

Let us, though late, at last, my Silvia, wed;
And loving lie in one devoted bed.
Thy watch may stand, my minutes fly post haste;
No sound calls back the year that once is past.
Then, sweetest Silvia, let’s no longer stay;
True love, we know, precipitates delay.
Away with doubts, all scruples hence remove!
No man, at one time, can be wise, and love.

Throwback Thursday: Jordan Pics

This guy was funny as hell! He was cracking us up with his jokes and funny stories. That’s what I love about travel; meeting new and interesting people once you get out of your comfort zone!  Good times.

 

 

F. M. Laster

“The best revenge is massive success.” – Frank Sinatra

Wayback Music Wednesday: Duran Duran

 

Everything about this video, the lyrics, the setting is just perfect!  One of the best bands of the 80’s in my opinion!  Enjoy some great memories from my youth!

 

F. M. Laster

“The best revenge is massive success.” – Frank Sinatra